Summary: John comforts Evangeline in the nursing facility while in her coma. John visits Evangeline wanting her to return to him to profess his undying love. Evangeline has an unconscious unspoken moment. The story that could still be told.

Disclaimer: The characters belong to OLTL/ABC Daytime. They are only borrowed for this story. No infringement intended.

Rating: G

Category: JVR ( JoVan Romance)

As I quietly slip into your room undetected; I see your sweet angelic face lying motionless in bed. I walk over and take your cold hand in mine to feel you close to me once again. Every since they bought you to this care facility I have been by your side each and every night talking to you endlessly thinking I can will you back to me. Each night I ramble reminiscing about the wonderful moments and memories we shared in our short union that I hold and cherish so dearly. I wonder how can anyone doubt my love for you?

“It seems that I always start this way Evangeline, wanting to explain away the past 2 years that was wasted between us” and I began somewhat tearful John says to himself while still holding Evangeline’s hand between his two warm ones against his cheek. “I am not leaving your side until I have to be at work tomorrow and that I promise” He said with assurance.

John started to explain his actions which he felt he did not deserve her forgiveness but he wanted her to know why things happened as they did. It appeared that a lot stemmed from the moment he met her family. He explained that after over hearing her and her uncle Clay that he did not want to be the reason she did not succeed. He also remembered her cousins explaining that she wanted to be the first African American Female President and how he thought that was daunting. John had more confidence in Evangeline than anyone person she had encountered her entire life. She held a large portion of his heart that no other woman was able to fill since Caitlyn. Evangeline had touched a part of his soul that went beyond physical love they were connected like no other man and woman. She knows me better than any woman he thought to himself. “There are so many things I have to apologize to you for, John said with a sigh. “Yet you always understood and asked so little and that was why I felt you deserved so much better than me, I had to set you free to spread your wings.”

Do you remember the big fight we had over my birthday? And you wrote “I Love You – E on that very special birthday napkin.” I wanted to say it back to you but I was afraid that you would disappear from my life like so many people that I loved once the words were said, so I kissed it with my love and placed it over my heart because I knew you knew how I felt and I believed at that moment you would be with me forever. A tear rolled down John’s cheek. That night when we began opening up to one another, I knew that not only across that table when I looked at you; but also when you fell asleep and I was about to confess that I was falling in love with you even then. John thought to himself, like now you are asleep and I want so desperately to say those words to you the only woman that has truly deserved them since Caitlyn. Yet the chain of events that occurred I wish I could reverse and make up for the wasted time between us.

I wanted to find out what you thought you knew when you broke up with me. I did not declare my love to Natalie then or to anyone else when my heart so clearly belonged to you. Natalie misunderstood that she was one of the people that I loved like Mikey, Mom, Marcie, Shannon, Bo and I did not want anything to happen to her with the killing club killer out there taking the lives of people that I cared so much about. When you broke up with me I felt as though my life had ended, there was a pain in my heart that ached for you and only you. Then Michael came in and read me the riot act and I told him that it wasn’t that I didn’t love you but I didn’t like ultimatums or being backed into a corner. Then I realized at that moment it was only my stupid pride standing in our way. I should have gone after you even then and professed my undying love to you. When you walked in on my comforting Natalie; I know it seemed like more but I was only letting her know that I wasn’t sure how I would be able to get you to believe in me again and that I wanted you back desperately. I figured by telling Natalie the truth that I was not her soul mate and I told you that I could not give you everything that I had inside of me; I felt that I was setting you both free. I knew that I had caused you a great deal of pain and that you didn’t deserve that.

You were beautiful when I came by before the Woman of the Year event to wish you good luck. You returned my mother’s pearls that I gave you for your birthday; you said I should give them to someone that I was in love with and I said that I wanted you to keep them, what I meant was I gave them to the woman I was in love with, I gave them to you. Instead trouble once again intervened and you were taken from me by that killer. And when I saw you and Natalie in that fire, my heart and mind went to you first and then FBI instinct kicked in and my mind went to what would happen since you were conscious and Natalie was unconscious and possibly falling into the flames. I had to react fast and get her out and onto the floor and get to you as fast as I could before you fell unconscious. I left Natalie and jumped through the flames to rescue you immediately just as you went unconscious I had to get to you, I couldn’t lose you and I knew I couldn’t live without you even if we were not together. When I came to you and I was somewhat intoxicated but I knew I had a lot to say to you like I wanted you to be by my side to get rid of the demons and there are many and I knew even then it would be a burden to even ask this of you. You were beautiful even then in the moonlight and you still professed your love for me when I didn’t deserve it. I meant it when I said that you saved me and I wanted to comfort and hold you when you said not to lose you I really didn’t want to lose you or us. Bits and pieces of our conversation that night kept resurfacing and begun coming back until I remember it all. That was the night I decided that I had to let you go so you would find the man you deserved that could love you unconditionally with no demons or baggage and that I would take the easy road and try with Natalie. I was a coward and felt undeserving.

I knew she was a married woman still and Cristian wanted her to move on so I figured she did anything and everything to get me and I did feel something for her but I questioned if it was possibly love but you came through once again offering to be hypnotized giving once again freely and unconditionally to Natalie and to remove the burden off of my shoulder. Evangeline you were amazing and I loved you more than I realized. You helped with David Vickers in my father’s cold case and you became blind because of me. I had to back away because you were being hurt over and over again because of me. I kept my distance while you worked so hard to have Cristian freed from prison. I was hurt when you thought I used you so I let you vent and I realized that I hurt you even more when I became involved with Natalie.

I was relieved when your eyesight was restored. I comforted you when you felt that no one was on your side in Todd’s case. Then you and Cristian became a couple and you confess that you were falling in love with him, this felt like a knife was stuck in my heart but I had no right to say or do anything after what I had done to you. Natalie and I seemed to become close and when I thought I solved my father’s murder case and was involved in that terrible accident, I did tell her that I loved her but I had no intention of proposing to her at that time nor anytime soon. I just didn’t want to be alone again, so I took what I could rather than being alone again. My life flashed before my eyes during that life altering moment and you were in it. I had unresolved feelings for you, and I knew I couldn’t marry someone else when there was still another in my heart. I wanted to protect you so many times but I had no right and I knew we would remain friends if not more. The look and fire between us always seem to burn when we least wanted it displayed. Yet we remained at a distance physically and you became victim of those idiot OPP members, then my life changed once again. Bo told me your heart stopped at that moment it seemed mine stopped too and I have vowed if you were not to make it through this, that I would go after those bastards myself and kill them for taking away the most important person in my life. When you come to I am going to make it up to you and until then I will continue to visit you and talk to you and once you are conscious I will profess my undying love to the one woman that deserved it in my life that is if you should still want me and let me be a part of your life. “I Love You, Evangeline Williamson and I want you to come back to me.”


I lie here hanging on every word you say John, but I am unable to physically speak to let you know I hear you. I feel the warmth of your hands holding mine. I hear your confession of undying love for me. You have explained so much and now I know that you love me. I would want you to move on and be happy and not put your life on hold while I lie here unable to communicate; I want the best for you and that is even if I am no longer a part of your life, I will always love you. You have touched the deepest and darkest part of my soul that will bind us together eternally. I want to touch you, hold you once again; to make love to you one last time if it is meant that we can never be together again. I ache for you John Mcbain and I will love you forever and until the light in our hearts burn out our souls will remain kindred until the end. It is love that we share and I want you to know that.


John checks his watch and once again he has spent the night beside Evangeline’s bedside and he kisses her hand and places it back gently on the bed. I will be back tonight I promise unless you awaken and need me sooner. I love you, I said as I whispered in your ear. I slip out as quietly as I slipped in undetected.


The End