The Way Of Love
Fan Fic by JEinspired
The man known to all of Llanview as Cristian Vega had just confessed to a roomful of people including John McBain and Evangeline Williamson that he was an imposter and a murderer. The early repercussions were already causing ripples in the lives of those present...
Evangeline was upset and a little angry. She hated feeling this way, she knows both of these emotions will not solve anything but still both burned deeply within her. Was she wrong to feel this way? Was she selfish? Was she so insecure that even when lives were being blown apart she still worried about the effect all of this would have on her budding love affair with John. She wondered just how long she must be expected to tolerate what to her is now a constant intrusion in her life, in their lives together. John constantly tells her that Natalie is only a friend, a friend he owes a debt to and by his every action that is exactly what she appears to be to him, but Evangeline felt differently, she felt that there was more. How long do you carry guilt and how far do you go to pay the debt of that guilt? These questions burned a hole inside her. These were the questions she wanted John to ask himself and to honestly answer. Evangeline was well on the way to being head over heels crazy in love with John. She had not looked at another man since they made love in Mary's basement. She had not wanted to, had not needed to. She felt completed by him, she liked everything about him, she respected him and he was always so good to her. She knew at the start of their relationship that he was deeply wounded and she would have to tread carefully at times, but it is close to 8 months now, shouldn't things be different? How should she proceed? What should she do? What happens now that Natalie is free once again?
She was so deep in thought that she startled by the closing of John's office door. There he stood, a little worst for wear, he looked tired and worried. Evangeline smiled, her heart jumped at the mere sight of him. It always does, she always knew he was near by her body's response to his presence.
John: 'Hey, thought you left, didn't mean to startle you'
Evangeline: 'It's OK. Are you OK?'
John: 'Yeah I am but Natalie isn't. Her world once again has crashed around her and I am at the center of the destruction.'
Evangeline: 'No you are not. Cristian or whoever he is is at the center of all this, the cause of all this. Natalie will be OK; she will get through this in time. She has her family and her friends.'
John: 'Yeah, we will help her, be there for her.'
Evangeline looked at him searchingly, wanting to know what exactly he meant by 'be there' for Natalie.
Evangeline: 'John, none of this is your fault. Natalie needs time to work through all that has happened. She needs time to get her head straight. Can't you understand that? Can you allow her the time she needs?'
John: 'No one should be alone at a time like this, no one should go through losing their husband not once but twice in the same lifetime."
Evangeline: 'John, part of being a friend is knowing when to step back and just give them room. Natalie is a big girl and she is not alone. John, she has her family, her mother.'
John looked at Evangeline as if he was finally seeing her for the first time since he stepped into his office. 'Are you back to that?"
Evangeline: 'Back to what John?'
John: 'I do not know how many times I have to say or what I have to do to make you believe that you are the one I want to be with. Natalie is my friend. I am worried about her. I am concerned about her. This has absolutely nothing to do with us.'
Evangeline felt the anger simmering, what does 'I'm concerned about her mean?'
Evangeline: 'What are you going to protect her from now John? When we started all this it was to protect her from Cris, what are you protecting her from now? Cris is locked up, he can't hurt her now. So what is it now John?'
John stared at her, at a loss of how to explain and what to explain. He wanted her and only her but he has an obligation as a friend to see Natalie through this. He felt he had to.
'You know what, let's not do this again. We are together. Are you hungry? How about Rodi's?'
Reluctant to rock the boat, Evangeline silently picked up her coat and her briefcase. Walking ahead of John, they left the station. Somewhat surprised and relieved at not having to examine and explain his feelings further, John guided Evangeline with a hand at her back into Rodi's. As he was seating her, his telephone rang. Both of them knew automatically who was calling even before he answered. Both of them were right...Natalie. Natalie wanted to see Cris again now. She wanted John's permission to see him, she wanted to know if John thought it was OK to see him and she wanted to know if John was still at the station. John said it was OK to go see Cris, asked if she would go alone or if she wanted company. After ending the call, John took his seat. Evangeline looked at him, John could sense some of her anger, and he could see it in her eyes.
'Is this what it will be like for the rest of our lives?'
'Are we never going to have moments alone? Moments that have nothing to do with your work or Natalie?'
'I'm telling you John, I am wondering if this (gesturing between them) is worth this, do I really want this and can I tolerate Natalie in the middle of our lives for much longer?'
John wearily: 'What are you saying? What do you mean?"
Evangeline:'I am saying John, that I've tried but...