It’s almost nine in the morning and John stands at the window in this room of the Intensive Care Unit at Llanview Hospital, stifling a yawn. The ICU had been quiet since Evangeline was moved here during the night. But now there’s a growing hum of activity beginning to swirl around just outside of her room, signs of a normal day at the hospital in progress.

John rubs his eyes and takes a deep breath. He exhales and waits more – just as he has all night. Somehow the waiting got easier to do once Evangeline was out of surgery – once he could watch her himself and not have to rely on updates from other people. And the long hours haven’t made him tired but it occurs to him that whatever anesthetic the doctors gave her to knock her out for surgery must be pretty potent stuff because she hasn’t really moved a muscle since.

For some reason, the thought of Evangeline’s pocketbook pops into his head. He remembers locking it up in his car just before getting into the ambulance to ride with her to the hospital the night before. His car is still in the Palace parking lot. It feels as if everything else came to a standstill when his fears were realized – when Evangeline was shot.

Thanks to his brother Michael, he’s in a clean shirt and pants – without her blood all over them. Michael was dead tired when his shift ended but he agreed to stop in at John’s room at the Angel Square Hotel and bring a change of clothes back to him at the hospital. John didn’t want Evangeline to wake up and see him the way he looked last night – blood on his shirt, pants, and his hands. He’d washed up and changed his clothes, reluctantly leaving her alone for those few minutes. His bloodied jacket was tossed into the nearest trashcan at some point. He wanted to shield her from at least the visual reminder of what happened.

He spoke to Evangeline’s mother a couple of hours earlier, having called her on the road to give her another update. At the time, she was about halfway to Llanview. He figures she should be getting to the hospital at any time, barring problems with what’s left of the normal morning traffic between there and here.

“Lieutenant McBain?” a male voice quietly asks.

“Yeah?”

“There’s a call for you at the desk – Commissioner Buchanan?”

“Thanks,” John says.

He glances at Evangeline briefly before following the young man over to the main desk. He sees the receiver lying on its side and picks it up.

“Yeah. Bo?”

“How’s it going, John? How’s Evangeline?”

“Still asleep,” he answers, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “Find out anything?”

“Just that it was definitely a hit on Robert Castor. So far nobody’s talkin’ about who ordered it or why.”

“I bet we can make a guess.”

“Me, too but we got no proof – not yet anyway. Listen, I’ll keep on it – see what I turn up. You stay there with Evangeline.”

“Thanks, Bo. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to leave anyway – at least not just yet. Her mom should be getting here pretty soon. Maybe I’ll be able to break away for a little while then.”

“You must be beat by now. It’ll do you some good to go home and get some sleep.”

“I’m not gonna sleep, Bo – not until I get a handle on everything that’s happened and get some answers.”

“You’re not gonna do Evangeline any good if you can’t keep your eyes open. When you leave there, go home and get some rest, Lieutenant. That’s an order.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he says, both of them knowing that he’s lying.

“Okay,” Bo says. “And when Evangeline wakes up, tell her I’m thinking about her.”

“Will do, Boss. Talk to you later.”

He puts the receiver back on the hook and heads back to Evangeline’s room, watching her still sleeping form through the glass as he approaches. He looks at his watch, silently noting how much time has passed since he got the call about shots fired at the Palace restaurant – since he first started fearing the worst.

He drifts back over to the window near the head of her bed. One part of his mind keeps shouting that it’s been enough time – that she should be awake by now, that something must be wrong. And another part of his mind keeps telling him to relax – that Evangeline has been through a lot in just a day or so. If he just waits for her body to get the rest it needs, she’ll wake up and she’ll be one step closer to getting out of this place – one step closer to going home.

Out of the corner of his eye, John notices Evangeline stirring. He moves over to her bedside and gently strokes her hair, watching her eyelids flutter – trying their best to open and to stay open. After a few more false starts, her eyes do actually open.

And John exhales.

“Hey,” he says, relieved.

After a bit of initial blurriness, Evangeline’s eyes focus on the source of the voice – that familiar voice – and settle on the handsome bearded face at her side.

“Good to have you back,” he tells her.

She smiles and starts to speak but her throat feels so terribly raw.

“Don’t try to talk,” John tells her. “They put a tube down your throat which is probably why it hurts so much. You’ve been operated on and you’re in the ICU at Llanview Hospital and…you’re getting well.”

Evangeline feels John’s hand touching her face and her hair. She closes her eyes again and leans into it, his touch instantly soothing her. There’s pain in her arm and across her middle – pain she’s lucid enough to realize could be much, much worse. If she’d opened her eyes to just the stark white and sterile looking room she’s in and the repetitive beeping sounds that are assaulting her ears, she would probably have been afraid – very afraid.

But knowing that John is there with her helps her to relax – to feel safe.

“I uh…Well, before I do anything else, I need you to know something.” He gazes into her eyes, a small tear slowly creeping into his. “I love you…”

Her eyes quickly open again, locking on his – questioning. She still feels more than a little groggy and not quite sure of what’s real and what she’s dreamed.

But from the look in his eyes, she knows that she actually heard what she thought she heard.

“I promised myself that if I got another chance, I’d let you know how I feel,” he continues. “Sorry it took me so long. Sorry it took something like this to get me to find my voice…I don’t ever wanna lose you, Evangeline.”

She feels the sting of tears working their way into her eyes as she looks up into his misty blue ones.

“John - ” she manages in a painfully hoarse whisper.

“You don’t have to talk,” he interrupts before she can say anything more. “All you have to do is to lie there…and get better…I just wanted you to know…”

In spite of the setting – in spite of her pain – Evangeline feels so much emotion at John’s words, even as the tears fall from her eyes, rolling down the sides of her face and onto her pillow.

He wipes the tears from her eyes as he gazes down on her.

She leans into his touch once again, feeling him in her heart. She has always felt him there – almost from the beginning. But there was always something standing between them, keeping them just out of each other’s reach.

Or maybe it was someone.

But now as Evangeline lies there, feeling the warmth of his touch against her cheek – his fingers tenderly tangled in her hair, she feels as if the barrier just may be gone.

At long last.

John leans over and kisses her forehead as she sighs peacefully, feeling her eyes closing once again – no matter how hard she fights to keep them open.

Before long, she drifts off to sleep.

He watches for a moment longer, making sure she’s really asleep before pushing his jacket aside and sitting down in the chair that’s nearby. As he goes over everything in his mind, he tells himself that they’ve crossed still another hurdle. First she made it to the hospital, which looked like it might not happen, given how her heart went crazy in the ambulance on the way.

But she hung on.

Then she made it through a complicated surgery that was probably only a few hours long but felt as if it took forever.

But she made it through that, too.

And then again just now – when he was able to look into her luminous eyes again, able to feel the warmth of her cheek – the softness of her skin - before she went back to sleep.

She came back to him.

But the best thing of all is that he got another chance to do it right. And this time, he didn’t hesitate. He said it this time – in words as well as with the things he did and the way he did them.

He told her that he loves her.

He stops to take a deep breath and exhales, slowly beginning to believe that the nightmare of the past twenty-four hours or so may actually be coming to an end.

One thing’s certain, though. He will do everything in his power to see to it that Evangeline is never hurt again. He said this to her once before – at the station after that racist SOB attacked her in the train station. He told her then that no one would ever hurt her again. But he blew it – wasn’t careful enough to make sure. But now that he’s got another chance, he promises to keep his word this time.

No matter what it takes.

“John?” comes the frantic sounding female voice from the doorway.

He looks up in time to see Evangeline’s mother Lisa coming into the room. She drapes the coat she’s carrying across the foot of Evangeline’s bed before gently touching her daughter’s face.

“Hey…” he says, coming to his feet.

“How is she?” Lisa asks, never taking her eyes off of Evangeline – the look on her face a combination of worry and fear and no small relief.

“Uh well…actually she was awake for about a minute. She just went back to sleep…I uh…I think she’s gonna be okay.”

“What does her doctor say?”

“Pretty much what I told you over the phone. They want to watch her for 48 hours. After that, I guess they’ll want to keep her here until she’s ready to go home…Didn’t run into too much traffic I see…”

“I managed to get hold of Evangeline’s cousin Henry and he drove like a demon. He knew I wanted to get here to be with my baby as soon as possible. He’s downstairs parking the car right now…”

“Henry, huh?” John asks, laughing to himself in anticipation of having to again confront the only relative of Evangeline’s that he outright disliked when they’d met.

But Lisa doesn’t notice. She’s too busy taking in the sight of Evangeline in that hospital bed, trying her best not to think about everything she’s been through.

“She looks just like a little girl right now,” she marvels. “If you’ve ever seen pictures of her when she was about twelve or thirteen, you’ll know what I mean…”

“The only ones of her I’ve seen are the ones I looked at when we were at your house after the funeral.”

“Oh. Well, we’ve got loads and loads. Believe me. I’ll have to show them to you the next time you come for a visit – under better circumstances.”

“I’d like that,” he tells her. “Hey listen, uh…You probably need to spend some time alone with Evangeline so…why don’t I just get out of your way…”

“You’re not in my way, John. Don’t leave on my account. I mean, I know that you and Henry didn’t get off to the best start but…Well, no matter how obnoxious Henry can be, one thing we can all agree on is how much we love Cookie, right? There’s room enough for all of us. You don’t have to run off…”

“Mrs. Williamson, believe me. Henry’s the very last thing on my mind right now. I’m not running off. Actually I need to go down to the police station to check on a few things. Now that you’re here, I know she’ll be okay while I’m gone so…”

“Oh, okay…”.

John picks up his jacket and makes his way across the room, briefly touching Evangeline on his way to the door – still needing that physical connection, not wanting to let it go. But he forces himself to just the same.

For a little while.

“Do me a favor though,” he adds. “When she wakes up again, let her know I’ll be back as soon as I can?”

“Of course. And John? Thank you so much for looking after her.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Mrs. Williamson,” he says, only marginally distracted by Henry’s appearance in the doorway. “No way was I gonna leave her after what happened…Anyway, I should be back before too long.”

“I’ll tell her,” Lisa says.

John turns to leave and the two men come face to face.

They make brief eye contact.

“Henry,” John acknowledges flatly before stepping around him. “Excuse me.”

Henry’s eyes follow John out the door past him and down the hall.

“So he was here all night, huh?” he glares, his voice dripping with attitude and indignation.

“Do not start with me,” Lisa angrily warns. “That man stayed with Cookie all night and watched over her. Now I don’t care what kind of problems you think you have with him and their relationship. The fact is that John McBain is the man your cousin loves and he seems to feel the same way about her. So just keep your snide comments to yourself and try to concentrate on Cookie right now. If you can’t do that, feel free to take your little scrawny behind back downstairs and right back home. If you can’t put your cousin first then you don’t need to be here. Do I make myself clear?”

Henry considers it but says nothing more on the subject.

“Fine,” he relents. “I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“Good. She’s been through enough already,” she tells him. She resumes gently stroking Evangeline’s brow, tears clouding her vision as she silently thanks God that she didn’t lose her baby girl the night before – that she is still alive, still here with her. “We all have.”

---

Natalie waits in the doorway of John’s office at the Llanview PD, watching as he stands with the telephone pressed to his ear.

“Listen,” he impatiently tells the person on the other end, “I don’t give a damn about your protocol. I need to see everything you’ve got on Robert Castor and any of his known associates…Look, I’ve got one dead body and two innocent bystanders wounded. That pretty much gives me jurisdiction…Hey, you know what? I don’t have time for this. You just make sure that those files are on my desk before the end of the day. And I won’t ask so nicely next time.” He slams down the receiver, noticing Natalie as he does. “What is it?”

“I didn’t see you come in,” she says. “I heard about Evangeline…How is she?”

“Out of surgery. Her mom and cousin are with her.”

“John,” she begins, “I know what you must be going through. I remember when I lost Cristian and after what you went through with Caitlin…This must be so hard for you…”

“I’m not the one who got shot,” he dismisses, barely concealing a growing anger. He grabs his jacket off the hook and puts it on. “I’m expecting some files from Newman in the D.A.’s office. Page me when they get here. Bo still in his office?”

“Yes but -”

“If anybody needs to reach me, tell them to page me,” he instructs as he heads past her and through the open door.

Before she can say another word, he’s gone.

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