Can’t do it!

I can’t accept what I’ve been seeing on OLTL for the past month or so. For the record, Cristian Vega isn’t it – period. He is emotionally immature, his head is not in the same place as Evangeline’s used to be, he is a confessed murderer, an ex-convict, a non-working artist, a pseudo-competent boxer, he was brainwashed to kill and, as yet, doesn’t know with certainty that he has been fully de-programmed, he is overbearing, he is pushy, and he simply does not get Evangeline – at least not the Evangeline I’ve loved for so long. Worst of all, he is Natalie’s ex-husband with a penchant for doing things with Evangeline that he already did with Natalie. Not a few weeks ago, he was kissing Natalie, declaring his undying love for her to all who would listen. What – now Natalie’s out and Evangeline is in? Oh look! He’s flighty, too.

Let’s move over to John, shall we? If ever a man looked and seemed less in love, I would be surprised. He called Natalie because he “didn’t want to be alone”? Gee, that’s a ringing endorsement. Whenever Natalie’s around, he looks as if he’d rather be having a root canal without anesthesia, to use one of John’s favorite phrases. Oh wait. That’s me, I think. Sorry. I’m projecting again. Suffice it to say that John doesn’t seem to be any more into what’s happening than I am.

Hey, maybe if I hadn’t fallen so completely for the story of John McBain and Evangeline Williamson I’d be better able to accept what’s playing out onscreen now. Maybe if I hadn’t spent a year or so eagerly waiting for each day’s episode of OLTL, diligently taping each one, obsessively replaying and replaying them, and endlessly talking about and rehashing what happened with friends who were in every bit as deeply as I was, then maybe the idea of John with Natalie and Evangeline with Cristian wouldn’t bite so much. If John with Evangeline had never happened, I’d be used to the usual run-of-the-mill, lackluster, contrived soap romances being ably represented by John with Natalie, Evangeline with Cristian instead of having grown accustomed to watching the incredible onscreen partnership of Goldsberry and Easton as Evangeline and John. Maybe if I hadn’t watched brilliance growing in leaps and bounds over almost an entire year, I’d be able to more easily accept the two knock-off pairings that leave me so completely indifferent – pairings that do not engage me in the slightest. Believe me, I’ve tried and tried. Heaven only knows I’ve had more than enough chances. Neither couple touches my heart. Neither couple makes me care. It’s that simple.

If there had never been an Evangeline with John, maybe then I wouldn’t have come to expect so much. Maybe then I’d be willing to settle for so much less. Maybe.

But I saw Evangeline and John first. They’re the benchmark. That’s the standard I’m holding the two lesser couples to and, frankly, neither measures up – not even a little bit. In both cases, it’s the sublime falling into the ridiculous.

And I can’t accept that – not for my two favorite characters. I’ve seen the best – The Best. I won’t accept scraps now.

See for yourself. No matter how painful it is, take out one of your John and Evangeline edits – make it your favorite edit – and pop it into the machine. Watch it. Listen to it. Remember it. Remind yourself what the best looks and sounds like. Remind yourself how the best makes you feel. Then go back and watch Natalie with John or Cristian with Evangeline. How do they look and sound? More importantly, how do they make you feel?

There really is no substitute for the very best, is there?